On Monday I flew from Helsinki to New York and instead of allowing me to enter the country, the passport checking, fingerprint taking, face photo taking, questions asking Patrol Guy escorted me to the back room (already familiar to me) and I had to sit there for 45 minutes and hear the stupidest TV show on earth where 10-year-old school kids compete against dull grown ups and beat them in questions about history, biology and such until my case was handled by a Patrol Guy Mr Patel who informed me that every time I ever try to enter the USA I will be taken to this very back room for further investigation. He then proceeded to accuse me of immigration violation. I said something to the effect that "What the heck are you talking about" and he just grinned rudely.
Upon which I tried to reduce the uptightness and raised the point that perhaps I was held up here (again) because I look like a hippie. The neighboring Patrol Guy behind his computer screen then looked at me and asked, "Are you?" and smart as I am, volunteered no information and simply stated that "I just might look like one." LOL
I asked Mr Patel in his police looking uniform if he could please type something in their computer program so that I wouldn't have to waste time in the gnarly back room every time I return to the US. He sternly said that he cannot override the program. Suddenly I was reminded of the movie Matrix. Going through the pages of my passport he asked why I go to India so much. I replied "Because I want to. I'm a Krishna devotee." His eyes lit up, "Hare Krishna Hare Rama?" I smiled touching my Tulasi wood neckbeads that Krishna devotees typically wear, "Yes". He said he'll do what he can to fix the situation and possibly unflag me (yay).
I couldn't conceal my anxiety anymore and blurted out "I'm nervous because my hula hoop was in the check-in and every minute it bounces around the baggage claim it might get more broken and distorted!! Can I go now please?!" The Patrol Guys finished typing up stuff, sympathized with my anguish and wished me a good day. I rushed out and down the escalator to happily find my special polypro hoop round and unharmed in the 'oversize baggage' area. Noora made it for me in Finland and I was determined to bring it with me, here, to the land of the free.
An intergalactic-cross-atlantic perhaps legal immigrant hoop.